Saturday, March 3, 2012

Changes for Me and Momzy


It’s been a stress-filled couple of weeks.

On my end, it took most of the extra week “off” chemo to start feeling anywhere near better. And then, you guessed it, came time for the next dose. Thankfully Dr Wadge had reduced the Gemcitabine to a 75% dose. She also opted to replace the Cisplatin with Carboplatin. This followed lab reports that my liver function dropped from 76 to 42 during the one-week drug hiatus. Apparently Cisplatin is very hard on the liver and Carboplatin is less so. The new cocktail is administered much the same way as the previous one. Each cycle remains 21-days in duration, and the drugs are given via IV. On Day 1 of the cycle, I receive both the Gemcitabine and the Carboplatin. On Day 8, only the Gemcitabine is given. On Day 22, the next cycle begins with the same Day 1 dosing as above. On Day 1 of this first cycle, I was very tired. Slept most of the rest of the day, and didn’t bother to get out of bed the next day. However, there was no nausea or diarrhea, and my energy level picked up quickly as the week progressed. On Day 8, (this past Tuesday), I didn’t start getting tired until later in the afternoon. Slept until 2pm the next day, but have been able to function quite normally since, other than an hour-long nap on Thursday. Assuming the drugs are working their hoped-for magic, I’m happy to continue with this cocktail for the foreseeable future.

Tuesday wasn’t just Day 8 of the current treatment cycle. It was also the day Mom had to be moved into her new digs at the local care facility. I did as much as I could, given that I came directly from chemo treatment. Thank God for Penny, Jon and Erin. Erin took Momzy to lunch while Penny, Jon and I packed up the main items Mom would be taking with her. Managed to get the room looking as welcoming as possible before she arrived. Given that we only learned that a room was available on Friday afternoon, the move went pretty dang smoothly. Of course, the emotional aspects of the situation will take much longer to resolve. Poor Momzy was feeling rather uprooted, but insisted she had been wanting to go into care for some time, and knew it is where she needs to be at this point in her life. Knowing that and feeling good about it are two different things. I have very similar thoughts and feelings, with a healthy dose of guilt tossed into the bag. I like to think that, if my health was better, I might have been able to take better care of Mom myself, possibly even live with her as so many friends have lived with their aging parents. Alas, I was dealt a different hand. As it turned out, the women I hired to provide private care at Mom’s home were nothing short of angels. Truly. Some have become as close to both of us as if they were family. Words of thanks fail to express my gratitude for the loving care they provided Mom – and continue to provide as they visit her in her new home. As for the support of Penny and Jon (who are taking on more care of both Mom and me as time goes on and our respective states of health further decline), I have only one question: What have I done in this life or will I do in the next to deserve such friendship? What those two have done, continue to do, and will do in the future goes well beyond any definition of friendship I know. May all of these people, and countless others who provide so much love and support to both Mom and me, have their kindness and generosity returned an infinite number of times in their own lives. I will attempt to do everything in my power to be part of that reciprocation. For now, I humbly offer my deepest gratitude.

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