Emotional Cocktails

Off to Vancouver today so there is no chance of being late for tomorrow's 9am appointment at the BC Cancer Agency. More blood tests on my dance card as well as another appointment with the oncologist. Assuming I got the thumbs up from Germany, I will be randomized into Group 1 or Group 2 in preparation for the start of the trial on Wednesday. Assuming, also, that nothing in any prior blood tests, CT scan, ECHO, MUGA, bone scan, etc. indicates that I somehow don't meet the protocol requirements after all. Confess my excitement re starting the study is mixed with a good bit of trepidation. After all, I don't know which group (and therefore which drug(s)) I'll be randomized into. Also don't know what, if any, side effects will be experienced once I start taking the drugs. Perhaps the side effects don't affect me at all. Or they might affect me in the worst way possible. Perhaps they will be short-lived, i.e. only last a few hours or a few days, or only with the first dose. Or they might get worse with each subsequent dose. Or persist as long as I'm taking those drugs. It's all kinda a crap shoot, but not in the fun Vegas sort of way. Hate to think today is the last day I'll feel this good - which is really good. On the other hand, I know tougher times lay ahead no matter what happens in the next few days or next few weeks. In any case, there is really no point in dwell on what might or might no happen. It's all very much out of my control. I'll simply plan for the worst, hope for the best, and try to dress appropriately.

Note to self: When I get home I must call the Olympic Sliding Centre in Whistler. Hear they are allowing the public to experience some of the more thrilling Olympic events, albeit on a smaller scale. Would love to try out the bobsled, with a professional brakeman, of course. Or maybe the luge - don't ya just love saying the word? Luge. Feels nice, gentle even. Although I suspect the actual ride is less so. I'm not really interested in the skeleton, for a couple of reasons: The name is rather unappealing, I'll be a real skeleton soon enough, and I can't lay face down due to my various medical circumstances. Hmmm. Will report back once I know if "the experience of a lifetime" is in my near future. Or not.