Cerebrally Speaking

Although much improved with the increase in dexamethasone, my brain continues to make its feelings about the current state of things known. As someone who rarely gets a headache, constant pressure changes are something quite new. Most of the time there is little more than a vague sensation that things aren't quite as they might otherwise be. At other times there is dizziness and/or the feeling that something is pushing my head in a downward motion. Insomnia seems to have taken up any moments not already dominated by fatigue. This week, I've spent two full days in bed together with the better part of two others. Ambition is becoming an increasingly rare commodity.

One of the most annoying side effects is the inability to concentrate. The other night I was up until 3am and feeling rather energized. Assumed it would be the ideal opportunity to give the house a much-needed thorough cleaning. However, every time I started in on a task, my attention was distracted by something else that needed to be dealt with. In the end, I likely clocked a good 10,000 steps but accomplished absolutely nothing more than a mild aerobic workout. Perhaps the most telling example of how my mind is wandering comes via the short silk shawl that I am attempting to knit. The pattern calls for a three-stitch rib along the long edge. At some point I noticed the rib looked "stretched". Turns out I had inexplicably changed to a four-stitch rib about three inches into the project. Since the initial/greater portion of the shawl is straight stocking stitch, this wasn't really an issue at first but it did present a problem when I began working the lace trim as the stitch count completely off. Rather than rip out the majority of the shawl, I simply went back to the three-stitch rib and carried on with the lace pattern. It is the most simple of lace patterns, yet I have had to redo each pattern row 2-4 times. I also noticed that the centre stitch, a knit stitch that forms the backbone or point of the triangle, is crossed in several places along its length thereby creating an unintentional elongated "float". Certainly not my finest knitting. At least the yarn is pretty.