More than a full deck

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.  ~Erma Bombeck


At the risk of thumbing my nose at my oncologist and other health care providers, I'm pleased to announce that I have officially proved many of them wrong. As of Friday, I am one more than "a full deck". Yup, I've made it to another birthday without surrendering any more of my faculties than was absolutely necessary. Finally, absolute proof than one should never believe everything they hear.

Speaking of lost faculties, I am beginning to take great exception to the labelling of some personal care products which have take up permanent residence on my shopping list. What bright light came up with the notion that Depends would be a suitable name for an incontinence product? Wouldn't Dependables be a more encouraging label for those of us relying on its purported attributes? By calling those spiffy disposable panties Depends, I have to wonder if they're truly up for the job. It's like they are responding to my questions by saying, "That depends". What sort of reassurance is that? As for Poise, I can assure you, gentle reader, that there is little self-confidence left when one feels the need to reach for this item off the store shelf. 


Likely all the creative marketing and advertising minds are too busy coming up with fabulously memorable names for paint colours (e.g., Elephant's Breath or Dead Salmon by Farrow & Ball) or nail polish colours (e.g., I'm Not Really a Waitress or Suzi Sells Sushi by the Seashore by OPI). 


My suggestions re more appropriate names for incontinence products:

LOL (laugh out loud - with confidence)
Gotcha
Oh pooh!




No fear. If I still had one, I would keep my day job.